She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
