Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is Oprah even human
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
