3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
