we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
