we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
