Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
