I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
