glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
