i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
