She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
