Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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