Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
