I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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