after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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