Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
