scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
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