Man, jail baloney is awful.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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