plz talk dirty to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize