I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize