just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
