Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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