dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
