We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my poor anus
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
