sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
