I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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