What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
