i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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