I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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