Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
