Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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