Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
