My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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