the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
not ubering you a puppy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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