Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Of course I have a pirate flag
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
