I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
