Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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