Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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