I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
