happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
