Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
