i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
