You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
