My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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