I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
