Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
