I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize