Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
