please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize