She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
