Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
