Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How unfortunate for your Mom.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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(517): View more from Michigan

My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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(817): View more from Texas

As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

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(407): View more from Florida

Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.

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(503): View more from Oregon

how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?

(725): View more from

Is there a big difference?

(702): View more from Nevada

It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker

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