idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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