so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
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