you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
