Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
