If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
