Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
