i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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