I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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